


Come See The Paradise

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Angst, F/M, Holidays, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-06-17
Updated: 2007-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-31 09:36:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15116675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: She wanted to tell him she loved him, she hated him, she wanted him out of her life, and that she couldn't let him go.





	Come See The Paradise

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Two Saturdays before Christmas Sarah threw a tree trimming party at her condo. The day before she and her friend Daniel found the perfect tree at a farm in Bethesda, Maryland. It was a six-foot tall Newfoundland blue spruce, and though it wasn’t blue it was magnificent. With a bit of effort, they strapped it to the top of his Dodge Durango and they were off. Friends from work and regular life gathered to decorate, nosh, and have a good time. Sarah wanted everyone to dress formally like the parties of the 30s and 40s. Her good friend Kara Weiskopf catered it and there were multiple bottles of Cristal chilling in her refrigerator.

“Everything alright in here?” Janet Miller poked her head into the kitchen. They worked together at the Gallery and had become close over the past two years.

“I'm coming right out. Can you take this tray?”

“Sure. This is a great party darling.”

“That what I was aiming for.”

Her cell phone rang as she was preparing to leave the kitchen with more champagne. She looked at the display before answering.

“Hello.”

“Merry Christmas.”

“Not quite. How have you been?”

“Very busy.”

“Ditto. Oh my God, it is going to take forever to tell you about all the insanity.”

“What are you doing for the holiday?” John asked.

“Honey, I'm actually right in the middle of a party. I really can't talk.”

“Oh, alright. Soon I hope.”

“Yeah, I promise.”

“I'm available tomorrow.”

“OK. Bye bye.”

“Bye Sarah.”

She turned her phone off and went back to her guests. James, her best friend Carole’s husband, managed to string all the lights on the large tree. Others were hanging around, adding ornaments as they talked and ate. Some were dancing or singing along to the Christmas carols on the record player. Sarah found and dusted off an old Bing Crosby that her parents used to listen to when she was growing up.

“Sarah, it is going to be your tree.” Helen Weaver said. “Don't you want a say on how it looks?”

“I have faith in you guys. Those are my favorite ornaments and you're my favorite people…what can go wrong?”

“Smile folks.”

They posed for pictures. Dale Clinton, Sarah and Carole’s other partner in crime, went around snapping pictures of everything. She was an amateur photographer, and the historian of the group. The three of them had been together since sophomore year at Sarah Lawrence. They knew all the good and bad about each other but never judged. Dale and Carole knew their best friend was having an affair with the Vice-President of the United States. They swore on their friendship that the secret would go to their graves. Sarah trusted and believed them…she had to be able to tell someone.

James grabbed the camera, taking plenty of photos of the women. Sarah held tight to her friends and wore a big smile.

“Any Christmas wishes?” Carole asked.

“Mmm, no comment.”

“A visit from Johnny B. Goode?” Dale asked, using their codename for John Hoynes.

“No comment guys, seriously.”

“Have you talked to him?”

They had moved to a quiet corner as the party swirled around them.

“He actually just called. Seriously, I do not want to talk about it right now. We are supposed to be partying.”

“I'm all about the party.” Dale replied.

“Duh. C’mon, we’re hot, there is good food, good liquor, and I'm on vacation for two weeks.”

Sarah had a great time at her party. Everyone left around midnight but Dale stuck around. The women maxed out on the couch with a bottle of Cold Duck and some pigs in a blanket.

“Are you going to see him again?” Dale asked.

“Sure, though I don’t know when. He is busy and I am looking forward to doing nothing for the next two weeks.”

“You’ve been busy for the past few months.”

Sarah nodded. She had been working on the National Gallery’s Kandinsky exhibit since the beginning of September. There were tons of problems trying to get some of the paintings from a St. Petersburg museum. Now they were finally here and in the process of being set up. By the time she got back to work on January 3rd the exhibit would be opening. The paintings would be on display for eight weeks.

“Dale?”

“What?”

“Do you think I'm a horrible human being who is going to burn in hell?” she asked.

“No. I think you are human though I hope you find someone else to give your love to. I can say that you do not let this, whatever it is, control your life. You are still Sarah and as long as that remains I'm not going to interfere in your decision.”

“But tell me, do you think I'm making bad decisions?”

“What's going on with you?” 

Sarah sighed. She pulled the bobby pins from her hair, shaking it.

“We haven’t been together since right before Thanksgiving.”

“Isn't that a good thing?”

“I miss him terribly. God, I never thought I would be that woman.”

“I wish I knew what to tell you. You can only follow your heart kiddo.”

Sarah nodded but didn’t say anything else. She did not want to talk anymore. What she really wanted to do was talk to John. Well, she wanted to sleep and then talk to John.

***

Sunday evening while cleaning Sarah’s cell phone rang. She turned off the music and picked it up.

“Hello.”

“Hi.”

“Hi there.”

“Tell me everything you’ve done since I last saw you.” John said.

“It’s been a while. You want to hear all about trips to Whole Foods and chilly mornings shaving my legs?”

“Yes.”

“John.” She laughed.

“What? I miss you. What are you doing right now?”

“I'm cleaning up after a successful Christmas party. After that I plan to do nothing for about 14 days. The Kandinsky exhibit drained me so I am taking this opportunity to rest before the hysteria starts on January 3rd.”

“You'll be in town for the holiday?” he asked.

“Yeah. I'm spending it with Carole and James. I'm on vacation so I was not in the mood to travel to Stamford. I just want to rest and Carole only lives in Prince Georges County.”

“What does her husband do again?”

“He’s in money, like my father. He is rolling in it. Tell me what you have been up to.”

“All the government inefficiency you see on CNN every night.”

“Mmm hmm.”

“That’s me…its all me.”

Sarah laughed.

“You want to take all the credit?”

“Every drop. Why the hell not? Do you miss me?”

“Sure.”

“Wow, that didn’t sound at all convincing.”

“Why do you want to know?”

“When you feel a certain way about someone you want that someone to feel that way too. Alright, I will not pressure you.”

“Thank you. Can you swing dinner this week?”

“There is a seven o’clock reservation on Wednesday at Equinox just for you and I.”

“Oh goodie.” Sarah clapped.

John did the same thing and they both laughed.

“Are we exchanging Christmas gifts?” Sarah asked.

“I bought you something.”

“I bought you something too.”

“That answers that question. Just don’t tell me it’s a tie.”

“Oh crap. Guess I'm going back to Nordstrom.”

“Did you really buy me ties?”

“You'll see.”

“I can't wait to see you.” John said. “Will you wear something pretty?”

“So, you're saying there are times when I don’t wear pretty things?”

“Definitely not saying that.”

“Good answer Mr. Vice-President.”

“You know I love when you call me that.”

“Gets you all steamed…makes you loosen your tie.”

“Sarah, stop it.”

“Makes your pants tighter.”

“I am hanging up on you.”

“I dare you.”

John laughed.

“I really should go. We will have more time to talk on Wednesday.”

“Yeah. See you then. Goodnight John.”

“Sleep tight.”

“Its not time to sleep.” She replied.

“Well when it is.”

“How do you know I'm going to sleep tight? Gonna sneak into my window and check?”

John didn’t know what to say. Sarah hadn't ever been so flirty before. He definitely liked it but it left him flustered too. They probably wouldn’t even have enough time for tender kisses on Wednesday…time was not on their side right now.

“Contemplate something.” He said.

“What?”

“Coming away with me.”

“What? Where?”

“Paradise.”

“John, what are you talking about?”

“Just think about it and we will talk Wednesday, alright?”

“Alright. Goodnight.”

Sarah hung up the phone and wondered just what they would be talking about.

***

Wednesday she walked through the restaurant back to a secluded section. There were not many people there tonight…the dining room was half-full. So close to Christmas, DC’s elite were back in their hometowns planning strategy for the New Year.

“Hi there.”

John stood as she approached. Sarah smiled when he took both of her hands and pulled her close. He thought she looked amazing in a wine colored long sleeved cocktail dress.

“Know how much I want to kiss you right now.”

“I do.”

Sarah sat across from him and looked at the menu. When the server came over to the table she ordered a vodka martini.

“A particular vodka ma'am?”

“Ketel One please.”

“Yes ma'am. Anything for you, Mr. Vice-President?”

“Diet Coke.”

With a nod, the server walked away. John reached his hand across the table and held it over Sarah’s for a brief moment. She turned it so that their palms grazed.

“Are you ready for Christmas?” she asked.

“We are leaving for the ranch tomorrow. I think we are ready…I never handle the planning. And before you say it, its not because I don’t want to. Its usually usurped before I know what happened.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything.”

“I saw that look on your face.”

“What look?” she asked.

God, the woman glowed. She had an aura of sunshine and warmth that John wanted to blanket himself in to combat the Washington winter. He loved the way she sipped her drink, appreciated it, and licked her lips. She was not sure what she was going to eat. John suggested that he order for them both and Sarah laughed.

“Isn't that clever? Alright.”

“I don’t want to step on your toes. I just…”

“No.” she shook her head. “It might be fun. Go ahead and surprise me. I won't even listen.”

John could only smile as she stuck her fingers in her ears while he ordered. He didn’t even think about the server thinking it might be weird. He never seemed to think about that when he was with Sarah.

“I'm going to give you your gift and then I want you to tell me about Paradise.”

“Gifts already?”

“Why not? It’s not as if we have infinite time.”

“We have plenty of time. Though I am willing to take me gift now.”

Sarah slid the box across the table and smiled. John held it in his hands for a few moments but did nothing.

“Aren't you going to open it?” she asked.

“I'm tempted to shake it to try and guess what it is.”

“Don’t shake it John; its fragile.”

“Alright, alright.”

He opened the red box and pulled out the pocket watch. It was platinum, the letters JFH engraved in Old English.

“Its beautiful.” He said.

“Do you like it?”

“I love it. It’s wonderful…oh darling.”

He could not help himself. John got out of the chair, helped her out of hers, and kissed her passionately. The server arrived with dinner but they did not stop their lip lock. Sarah pulled away first, her golden light brown skin turning cranberry as she sat back at the table.

“For the lady, crab and lobster bisque and the fresh garden salad. For the gentleman, New York Porterhouse with broccoli florets.”

“Thank you sir.” John said.

Sarah asked for another martini. The server nodded, leaving the table.

“John…”

“Yes ma'am.”

“You'll be lucky if that does not end up on page six. Don’t you ever do that again.”

“I couldn’t help it. It has been so long since I've seen you and the pocket watch is lovely. I will be good from now on, I promise.”

He did the Scout’s honor and held his fingers to his heart. His face just looked so clean and honest with those sparkling blue eyes.

“I'm not sure that I believe you, Mr. Vice-President. I am serious though.”

“You don’t trust the Scouts honor?”

Sarah just laughed, shaking her head and tasting her bisque. She wanted to be upset with him but couldn’t be. John opened his jacket and pulled a jewelry box from his inside pocket.

“Merry Christmas.”

Sarah took it from his hands.

“Tell me about Paradise.”

“Don’t you want to open your gift first?”

“No. Talk to me John.”

“Please open my gift darling, then we can talk all night.”

Sarah sighed. She opened the box and could not help her gasp. There was an amethyst tennis bracelet and matching drop earrings. Purple was her favorite color and she thought they were beautiful.

“Thank you. Now tell me about Paradise.”

“You're a hard one Miss Gatwick. The President has a vacation spot, a retreat, called Camp David.”

“Mmm hmm, I know.” She drank the second martini now in front of her and sipped some water.

“Well what a lot of people don’t know is that the Vice-President also has a retreat. It is nestled in the woods of Vermont and its called Paradise. I want to take you there.”

“That cannot be a good idea.”

“Why would you say that?”

“John, I don’t know but that seems risky.”

“Nobody cares about it. Its cold up there right now…it’s not as if we are going to be frolicking around. Just a few days of peace and quiet for the two of us. A little reconnect.”

“Where will Suzanne be?”

Sarah never asked questions about his wife. She knew that he had one. That didn’t mean she wanted to become involved in the inner workings of the Hoynes marriage. It was definitely better to stay far away from that.

“She will be at the ranch. To be a girl from New York she has become very fond of Southern winters.”

That was all he was going to say about his wife. John was with Sarah and he wanted to talk about her; talk about them.

“So…Paradise?” Sarah asked.

“Yes. You and I can leave on Wednesday and stay through the New Year. Don’t think too hard about it darling, just say yes.”

“I will have to think about it.” she replied.

“That doesn’t sound like yes.”

“John, I mean it.”

“Hmm, I guess that’s my answer for right now. I can accept that.”

“Good. I have another gift for you that I left at home. Will you come back with me?”

“Definitely.”

***

In the Lincoln, they were finally able to kiss and caress, as they hadn't in months. Sarah sighed; she loved the feeling of being in his arms. She stroked his face.

“You are so cute.” She whispered.

“Yeah?”

“Mmm hmm.”

He pulled her closer, running his hands across her body. Good lord, he missed her body.

“If I am as a cute as you say, which I won't dispute, say yes to coming away with me.”

“Your persistence is attractive but I need to think about it and that is all I will say. Stop it.”

“Yes ma'am. Time for more and more kisses.”

Sarah gave John a glass of Diet Coke at the condo while she disappeared into the bedroom for his second Christmas gift. When she looked up, he was standing in the doorway.

“Hi there.” He smiled.

“Merry Christmas.” She held out the envelope.

John pulled her into his arms and kissed her passionately. He could not get enough of her tonight...he never wanted to go so long without seeing her.

“What is it?”

“Open it silly.”

He did, and found two tickets to the National Ballet’s production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

“I love the ballet.” He said.

Sarah nodded. She wanted to buy him gifts that he would appreciate and use. He would probably end up going with Suzanne but she was not going to think about that. That made her stomach hurt.

“So…” his lips trailed down her neck.

“You should go John.”

“I should?”

He seemed a bit confused. Sarah ran so hot and cold lately and he wanted to know why. He wanted her to be the Sarah he remembered; the Sarah he craved. John thought time alone in Paradise would be just what they needed. Their relationship was unconventional, yes. He tried his best not to pretend or insinuate that it was something it was not. Still he could not pretend he had not falling quite hard for the young woman. It may not have been fair for any of the parties involved but that made it no less true. John knew why she was keeping him at arms length; he just wished she didn’t have to. For the first time in his life, John Hoynes wished he wasn’t John Hoynes.

“I don’t have to go just yet.”

“We can have sex some other time.” She replied.

“Hey now,” he tilted her chin so she was looking at him. “This is not about sex Sarah. I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to make love to you. But I wouldn’t care if we just held each other, or just talked. It’s been a while since we've been together and I would like to be together.”

“Not tonight.” She shook her head.

“OK.” He hugged her close for a few moments and then pulled away. “I will go. Have a good night.”

“Yeah. Do you want me to walk you to the door?”

“Sarah, please don’t make me leave.”

“John, don’t do this.”

“Honey, what's the matter? Something is definitely wrong and I want you to share it with me.”

She wanted to share it with him. She wanted to tell him she loved him, she hated him, she wanted him out of her life, and that she couldn’t let him go. Instead, she took a deep breath and hugged him fiercely.

“Please just go. We will talk soon but I don’t want to tonight. It was a lovely evening; let’s end it that way.”

John nodded, kissing her softly. He promised to call her on Christmas and she nodded her reply. He walked out alone; Sarah plopped on her bed. She took a deep breath, lighting a cigarette from the pack on the nightstand. She was going to have to make a decision soon and live with the one she chose. They had been a couple, if you could even call it that, for eight months.

John bought her gifts, took her to lovely places, made her smile and feel beautiful. Though Sarah would never forget he was married, they seemed to be hiding in plain sight. John never once made her feel as if she were a dirty secret he wanted to keep hidden. It was all too much…the feelings she had for him would lead to nothing but heartache. 

Sarah did a good job of playing like she had it all together but now she was in love with him. When you were in love, you got dumb. It should be allowed…you should be dumb, giddy, and sitting on top of the world. You should sing, dance, and show off to everyone. It was hard to show off your married boyfriend. It was impossible when he was the Vice-President of the United States.

***

“John?”

The Vice-President turned and looked at his wife. She came out on the deck to sit next to him. For a while, they didn’t talk. Suzanne held his hand in hers.

“Something is wrong, isn’t it?”

“What makes you say that?”

“It’s Christmas Eve, one in the morning, and you're wide awake. The kids are going to be up with the crows.”

“They are still so excited about it.”

“Christmas is the one time of year that being an excited kid is a requirement. You are not worried about the kids though.”

“No.” he shook his head and sipped his peppermint tea. “The kids are fine, though I wish Katie could be here.”

“Me too. We will see her after the New Year. John, what's the matter?”

“I just have a lot on my mind. This midterm election is going to be so much work…we need to take back the House. The Senate isn’t going to happen.”

“You're working hard on that. How much more do you think you can do? It’s up to the American people after that. Anything else you want to share with me?”

“Susie, I…”

“Something is happening.” She cut him off. “You're distracted and you're always busy. I don’t think all of this is work.”

“What do you think it is?” he asked, swallowing.

“That’s what I want you to tell me John. Honey, I know that we are separate individuals as well as a married couple. We have pieces of ourselves that still belong just to us; I get that. We don’t always share everything with each other but I am here to listen. Obviously you are quite troubled and you know that you always feel better after you tell me.”

Yeah, John was not going to feel better after telling his wife that he was afraid his girlfriend was falling out of love with him. That was not going to go over well at all. The Vice-President took a deep breath.

“Susie we both knew when we decided to run for the White House that it would be tough sometimes. I am just trying to keep up.”

“I'm here to help.” She replied. “Don’t pull away from me.”

John shook his head, squeezing her hand. He told her that he would be fine, whether that was true or not remained to be seen. They sat in a heavy silence again and John wondered what the Secret Service was doing out there in the Texas darkness.

“Oh, I don’t think I told you but Lee and I thought it would be better to have the after Christmas meetings at the retreat. We figure if we give people as little distraction as possible then something might actually get done.”

“Ski bunnies in Vermont are no longer a distraction?” Suzanne asked smiling.

“Paradise is nestled far away from the outside world. This is what they need. I just wanted to let you know because there is no cell phone service out there.”

“A good reason to take them up there too. C'mon Johnny, you need to get some sleep. You're going to be the walking dead tomorrow and the kids will notice.”

“Alright.” He stood, stretching his arms over his head. “Hey, were you a good girl or a bad girl this year?”

“Very good.”

“Are you sure?”

John smiled, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her lips.

“Mmm, I'm sure that I can be bad when I want to be.”

“Ooh, really now? It sounds to me as if you're getting close to my Christmas wish.”

“Bad boy.” She playfully slapped his chest. 

They went into the house and John fell asleep in his wife’s arms.

***

December 28th was a blistering cold morning and the Vice-President’s private plane took off from Bethesda. Sarah watched the ground disappear until she was looking at the clouds. After days of thoughts, second thoughts, deliberations, changing her mind, and changing it back again, she decided to join John in Paradise. She figured they would have a lovely, romantic time and then she would end the affair.

“What is on your mind?” John asked. “I want you to tell me everything.”

“Hmm?”

“What's on your mind?”

“Nothing. I love plane rides, especially private planes.”

“You’ve been on many private planes?”

“Enough. This one is quite spectacular.” She said.

“You should see Air Force Two. It is phenomenal, and Air Force One is even better. It’s like a city in the air.”

“The idea of something that heavy floating through the clouds is a bit scary.”

“I never thought of it that way. Now I'm sure that I will every time I'm on board.”

Sarah laughed a bit, going back to looking out of the window.

“John, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Do you want to be President?”

“In seven years. I never wanted to be Vice-President. Now my family will have 16 years of this instead of eight.”

“Why didn’t you just say no? You had plenty of substantive things left to do in the Senate and you could’ve still led the party.”

“No.” John shook his head. “The President is the leader of the party and he will endorse me for ’06. It was part of the deal.”

“Was there really a deal?” Sarah asked.

“Yes. While Bartlet was coming out of the box like a rocket and definitely would have been troublesome, I wanted to keep fighting.”

“Why did you give up?”

“For the party. No one wanted to go into the Convention looking disorganized and inefficient at running the country. If the two strongest men in the race could get together, hold hands, and sing then we would be unstoppable.”

“You didn’t deliver Texas.” She said in a matter of fact tone.

“Yes, thank you. No I didn’t, but I delivered the South. I got us to Florida…tell me the last time a Democrat did that.”

“So, you're the LBJ…”

“Oh God, don’t do that.” John started to shake his head and wave his hands. “I hate LBJ references. Not all Southern Democrats are LBJ.”

“No, some are Huey Long.”

He laughed out loud and that made Sarah laugh.

“You haven’t been alright lately.” John said.

“I've been fine. The holidays are a trying time anyway. With all the preparations for Christmas and that damned exhibit…I was just a little stressed. It’s allowed John.”

“Of course it’s allowed. That’s why I'm here; to share your thoughts and feelings with.”

“You're not here.”

“What?”

“You're not here. You're busy with politics, your wife, your kids, and your shit. You're busy with your plans to be leader of the free world in seven years.”

“Sarah, I…”

“Stop!” she said it loudly and John just froze with his mouth open. “I'm not talking about this. I don’t want to talk about politics anymore. I'm sorry I brought it up.”

“We were not talking about politics just then.”

“John, what do you want from me?” she asked with a sigh.

“Nothing.”

“That is not true.”

“I don’t want anything that’s going to cost you too much. I don’t want you to lose yourself. I think you may be losing yourself.”

“I care about you. I can't help that.”

John sat in the seat next to her and took her hand. Sarah stared straight ahead; she did not want to look at him. She did not want to lose it.

“I care too. I care too much to let you hurt yourself.”

“Let’s just have a nice time these few days, OK? I want to have a nice time and I think we can.”

“Alright.” He kissed her hand. “Maybe with a little time to ourselves we can have a nice conversation.”

“Sure…maybe.”

***

Early Thursday morning Sarah woke in her lover’s arms. It all felt so perfect and her heart swelled with love for him. Paradise was even better than she imagined it. It was a large house with five bedrooms, even more baths, a large living room, dining room and kitchen. It was surrounded by beautiful trees and a manmade lake flowed through the property. They spent most of yesterday walking the grounds, holding hands and enjoying the solitude of their surroundings.

John and Sarah didn’t talk much but they went inside to warm by the fire with cocoa and cookies. It felt good to be in his arms…words would have ruined it. He made them a quiet dinner, which they dressed for. John marveled in how beautiful she looked in the jewelry he bought her for Christmas. All the staff was gone for the holidays, which suited the Vice-President just fine. He didn’t know how many opportunities they would get to be alone like this.

They slow danced, barefoot, across the carpet to Patsy Cline on vinyl. Sarah ran a bath for them and it was wonderful. They didn’t make love but they didn’t need to. Holding each other and caressing was the perfect end to their night. John murmured sweet nothings in her ear; Sarah sighed and held him closer. Falling asleep knowing they would still be together in the morning was a feeling that both thrilled and frightened the young woman.

“Good morning.” she whispered, gently kissing his eyelashes until he woke up.

“Its early.” He replied, his voice filled with sleep.

“I know. I just…I guess I couldn’t sleep.”

“Are you alright?” John pulled her close, caressing her naked back. “We should talk.”

“I think I'm going to call you Jack from now on.”

John laughed, kissing her shoulder.

“Why?”

“Because it’s my special name for you and no one else will have it.”

“That’s true. I like it.”

“I like it too Jack.”

John kissed her passionately as Sarah ran her fingers through his hair.

“Maybe you are not tired because I didn’t wear you out last night.”

“Oh really, is that what you think?”

Sarah could only smile as John rolled them on the bed. She was now her back and his body rested on hers. With deft fingers, John slid down the straps of her nightgown. She shrugged it down her arms and he undressed her completely. John took his time kissing and touching her sweet skin. She tasted so good. John stroked her breasts. He wrapped his tongue and then his lips around the hard nipple causing Sarah to moan loudly. She pressed her hand on the nape of her neck to keep him there. She did not have to be too concerned…John wasn’t going anywhere. He loved to hear her moan, grip the sheets, squirm underneath him, and whisper his name.

He moved away from her breasts, leaving a trail of wet kisses across her stomach. When his hands touched her skin Sarah was on fire. John was gentle as he pulled her legs apart, soft as his tongue tasted between her thighs.

“Oh God John, oh God!”

Eyes closed, hands balled into a fist, Sarah tried her best to hold in the passion as long as she could. She missed his touch so much and Sarah practically screamed as her climax rocked her whole body. He did not stop though, John continued to stimulate her pulsating clit with his tongue until she was crashing again and again. Tears formed in the creases of her closed eyes as he finally freed her from the torture.

“I am drunk on you.” He whispered before kissing her mouth.

“I love you John.”

There was nothing else to say; it was all she needed to say. While it did not change the situation, now that it was out Sarah felt a heavyweight had been lifted from her. She only felt the weight of John. John sliding out of his pajama pants, taking a condom from the nightstand, and wrapping her legs around him. He was firm but gentle as he slid inside of her. They both stilled to adjust and then he began to move. Sarah bit her lip, wrapping her arms tighter around his neck. It wasn’t that it hurt, he was never rough, but it was intense. It was always so damn intense.

“Open your eyes beautiful. I want to see those pretty brown eyes.”

She did and the feelings they shared almost knocked her over.

“John…ohhh…mmm…”

“I love you too Sarah. I love you darling.”

She caressed his face and they came together before falling against each other. He lingered inside of her for a few moments before falling onto the bed. John held her in his arms, kissing her forehead. They were coming down from the bliss but tried to hold onto it as long as possible.

“I sometimes think I just want to run away.” She said.

“From what?”

“From this; from you John. I don’t know if I can handle it. I thought I could but maybe I can't.”

“Sarah, you have to do what you need to do to be comfortable. You have to be you. Now don’t misinterpret what I'm saying…I would be heartbroken if you left me. Still, I would certainly not be able to beg you to stay. Well I could but I can only offer you this. Some of me.”

“Do you really love me?” she asked.

“I wouldn’t ever lie to you about something like that. It’s still not going to make any of this easy.”

“I just wish I could be a better mistress.”

“Sarah, don’t say that. What are you saying?”

“I thought it would be easy. I would do whatever the hell I wanted to do and that was it. We would see each other when we could and feelings would never come into play. That was pretty stupid, huh?”

“No. I certainly never thought I would feel this way about you. My feelings for you are very strong. When we’re not together I wish we could be.”

“You are never going to leave your wife.” She said more to herself than to him.

John didn’t know how to respond to that that so he didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to go there. This time in Paradise was about the two of them. He was married…that was not news. Sarah knew that John was in no danger of leaving Suzanne and their family. What she didn’t know was that telling Suzanne everything was on the tip of his tongue.

He wanted to break down, let his conscience free. This was so much more than a fling; John Hoynes knew a fling from a mile away. He had many of them in his lifetime. Young, older, single, married, divorced…the women were always there. What he had with Sarah was like nothing before. It wasn’t even what he had with Melinda Sue or Suzanne.

“What are you thinking right now?” she asked.

She ran her fingers across his chest and he sighed contently.

“I don’t want to think. I just want to enjoy our time here. Yesterday was amazing and I want that for our entire stay.”

“Me too.” She kissed him.

“Yeah?”

“Yes. I love you Jack.”

If only she knew how his heart leapt when she said that. John pulled her closer until he could feel her heartbeat press on the side of his body. They fell asleep that way and stayed there for most of the morning. Then John woke again, made them breakfast in bed, and they enjoyed a few days in Paradise.

***


End file.
